Your feedback on Onyeka's essay covers all the aspects of the assignment and also offers some pointers regarding how to improve punctuation and for clarity, stick to one verb tense. But it is a bit awkward that you refer to Onyeka in the third person, she and in fact it is a he, as you posted the feedback on his blog? Also, speaking of punctuation, please keep an eye out for run-on sentences.
Your feedback on Onyeka's essay covers all the aspects of the assignment and also offers some pointers regarding how to improve punctuation and for clarity, stick to one verb tense. But it is a bit awkward that you refer to Onyeka in the third person, she and in fact it is a he, as you posted the feedback on his blog? Also, speaking of punctuation, please keep an eye out for run-on sentences.
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